Sunday, July 8, 2012

Hoarders Anonymous Art Proposal Letter

July 8, 2012


Hoarders Anonymous
The Shulman Center
P.O. Box 250008
Franklin, MI 48025


Dear Sir/Madame: 

I am an artist living and working in Chicago, IL. I am writing you regarding a recent epiphany I have had.  It  has compelled me to do something about it, in the form of an art project.   

I learned that squirrels only find 10 percent of the food they hide. This does not stop them from compulsively collecting and hiding their booty. Thus, I have concluded that squirrels are natural hoarders. On a side note, an anti-squirrel person who shall remain nameless, has gone so far as to say: “Under that cute exterior they're dirty, vicious, attack prone little disease carriers. Just in a cute package.”

Hoarders Anonymous is a wonderful program, but I think awareness needs to be raised about this troubling and far reaching problem.  This extends beyond just hoarders, as personal consumption expenditures have increased by 20% since 1990. We are literally being buried alive by our “stuff”.

It is my proposal to create an outdoor exhibit in which a large pile of acorns stand side by side with a pile of 10% of the original pile. I would also put a very large paper mache statue of a greedy squirrel. A banner would read, “Don’t collect more than you need!”

I am asking your permission to do this performance piece outside your building in Franklin, MI. I would fund this completely myself. I am only asking for travel expenses to and from MI.

I feel this would be a worthwhile investment for you, as it will bring attention to your fantastic organization.

I hope to hear favorably from you regarding this cutting edge art.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Diane Keys
407 S. Liberty Street
Elgin, IL 60120





  

13 comments:

John M. Bennett said...

Marvellous!. Makes me think of the same project using newspapers, or dead cats!
john

Diane Keys said...

That's a good one JB--I like Angie's idea of the paper mache acorns too. I could make a huge paper mache acorn pinata and the possibilities are endless as to what could be put inside:)

Anonymous said...

A squirrel pinata!
That could be a helpful socializing tool that would address a local turf war... black squirrels are aggressively edging out the local gray squirrels.
Why can't they all just get along?

De Villo Sloan said...

APA (American Psychological Association) has recently recognized OCD-K - to describe the hoarding mentality of Trashpo.

Can I use the anti-squirrel quote to describe MinXus? It's perfect.

- DKULTNY

De Villo Sloan said...

APA (American Psychological Association) has recently recognized OCD-K - to describe the hoarding mentality of Trashpo.

Can I use the anti-squirrel quote to describe MinXus? It's perfect.

- DKULTNY

Diane Keys said...

Sure DVS-it is an actual quote by someone you know, but I'm sure if you don't disclose his/her name they won't mind:)Besides, I don't think Lisa would care!

Skybridge Studios said...

What!

Diane Keys said...

OMG--John Bennett is right. Someone called my bluff. I just now received a phone call from Hoarders Anonymous and they are interested in letting me do this project. What on earth am I going to do?Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Skybridge Studios said...

See? ...helping!

http://www.acorno.com/

Diane Keys said...

HIlarious Lisa!!!! Who knew acorns were so expensive. I really wish I'd asked for them to pay for 1000 lbs of acorns. It needs to be a large amount to have an impact. I might have to rewrite this proposal including a budget and send it to some other hoarder group. Thank you!!!!

Skybridge Studios said...

If I can assist, let me know. I think your project is important, relevant, and easy to understand ...even by squirrels!

Skybridge Studios said...

Need a Kickstarter!
http://www.kickstarter.com/
and paper maché piñatas for donors of more than $100 attending the opening.

Diane Keys said...

You are incredible Lisa!! How you know about these things amazes me. This is a definate option. The nice man has asked that we stay in touch while he looks into any need for permits etc. My son has said he would wear a squirrel costume