Friday, January 31, 2014

Letter to KOTEX

I have Indiana Rogers to thank for giving me the inspiration to write another letter. I really missed it. This refers to a fake punk band that we started. posting here loses all my letter formatting--don't know how to fix that February 5, 2014 Julia Schembri Communications Advisor KOTEX Products c/o Kimberly-Clark House 52 Alfred Street Milsons Point New South Wales Australia 2061 RE: Support the Arts Dear Mrs. Schembri, I am writing to kindly request your assistance. A friend and I have a punk band called The Naughty List Bitches ™. We will be touring this summer and will be playing in Australia. Our raw, often crude, all girl band, strives to revive the punk of the 70’s. We fight against the ‘punk’ that has been embraced by the mainstream, such as bands like Green Day. This is where you come in. During our shows, it is very common for us to throw massive amounts of pads and tampons into the crowd. We have also been known to sign autographs on pads and pantiliners. I am hoping that you might consider supporting us by donating feminine products. It would be a great way to advertise the Kotex brand and give it a ‘hip’ factor that it does not currently have. This would also be a good move regarding international relations, as we are Americans looking to network . Australia is a key market for us, as we have a very large fanbase-- particularly in Waitpinga. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope to hear from you favorably regarding this matter. Sincerely, Candy Wicked and Sheena Armstrong WE ARE: The Naughty List Bitches ™

8 comments:

dan mouer said...

I finally found a punker band I can love!

dan mouer said...

I finally found a punker band I can love!

Diane Keys said...

woo hoo!! You are our first official US fan!!!

KDJ said...

Yay! Road trip!!!! Great letter, by the way.

Diane Keys said...

KDJ--do you want to join the band ? do you have any musical talents? If yes, sorry you are overqualified, but if your answer is NO then you are IN

vizma b said...

Oh shit, I just read this to my sister and we're both in tears laughing!!
Sis: "She sounds like us!!"

Diane Keys said...

LOL Vizma--sistahs from another mother? it's been a long time, but finally the naughty list bitches have found each other. I'm guessing, but Waitpinga probably isn't a mecca for punk rock?

vizma b said...

No, but we get a good crowd of surfers coming from Adelaide, they'd need some entertainment while they're down here!!